“Life's Full of Temptations”
April 2005
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Thursday, June 30, 2005 || 5:36:00 PM
i sEriousLy tiNk i aM loSing a frEn hEre...anD i aM vEry uPSet...e liTTleST thiNgs maKE mE doUbt...iF reALlie oUR frEnshiP iS wASTed bEcox u wANna pRoteCt e vuLNErablE fEelingS oF suM1 u dEem mORe fiT oR coNSideR mORe woRthy oF uR timE...i aM tRuly diSappOintEd...wEll i hoPE aND i wiSh aND i pRay anD i yeArn anD i wiLL bE sO gRAtefuL iF i aM bEing sEnsitivE...maYBE i aM bEing bHB tOO, maYBE u jUZ cAn't stANd mE aNymoRe...maYBe u feEl i aM sO uNfemiNinE iT's gEttinG oN ur neRves...mAYbe u caNnot aCCept mE for wAT i aM...wEll iF thIngs duN iMproVE i wiLL...i wiLL leARn tO aCCept e loSs...mY eMotioNS wiLL tOo...i wiLL stOp bEing uPset oVEr u...aND iF mY toTs aRE tRue... i haTE yoU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aND mY haTREd wiLL nV ceASe... sChooL's goNna reOpen soOn...mY hoLIdayS aRe enDing iN 4 dAys...nO mORe sWimmIng iN e aFTernOOns, siNCe iT's goNNa be clAss oR woRk...anD i aM reALlie goNNA miSs iT...pLus i juZ reALisEd taT i aM stiLL reAllie quIte uNdeciDed aBt mY spEcialISatioN...soRry chEnyu...i meAN i realLie wAnnA dO mArketinG...i tiNk iT's goNNa bE eXcitinG anD i nOE iT's a spEcialISatioN taT moSt pArT TIme COuRSeS duN oFfer...buT wAT iS moSt iMpt tO mE aT tiS moMEnt nOW iS tO dO weLL anD geT a mErit cErt aT e eND oF e daY...i duN neEd eXcitemenT oR inTErest...a bORing clAss mAY kiLL mE buT wAT iS reAllie reaLLie iMpt iS grADes...iF i cAN dO bEta iN fiNANce aM i suPPoseD tO gO?...aND wAT kiND oF a fuTure doEs a mKt ceRt hoLD?...nOE twO pEeps whO gRAD mkT anD boTh aRE noT lEt's juZ saY vEry suCceSsfuL iN fiNDinG a mKt joB...iF i chOOse mkT buT fiNAnce tuRnS oUt tO bE sO muCh mORe eASier, wiF hiGher grADes...i tiNk i wiLL gO kiLL mYSelF...hOW hoW hoW?....i onLI haF twO wEeks lEft tO tinK...aLL iN aLL iT's aN uPSettIng dAY...aND i hAf sINce dEcideD i aM goNNA gEt e 24.90 bElt taT nO oTHer buCkle cAN sEem tO rePLAce...juZ duN lEt iT bE ouTta stOCk bY tUEs...maYBE i wiLL juZ ruSh doWn tMR tO gEt iT....retAIl tHErapY sEems lYk e oNLi cuRe foR mY moOD tHEsedaYs...yeS taT's hoW baD i aM feEling noW...lYk tAT shiT iN e toILet boWl...e shIt i reSemblE whEn i wEAR bRown...e shIt i feEl lyK StuFfing uP uR faCE...bY tHE waY, pUttiNg mY mOODs dOWn tO jUZ pMS iRks mE enDleSsly...duN evEr dO taT aGAin...
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|| 2:54:00 AM
wAt dO u dO whEn sUmonE lYks u bUt u hAD nO suCh feElinGs foR thEm?...
wOrst yET tHEy stARt iGnoRing u...tHey sTArt bEing fuNny...bUt thEy siMplY shRug anD sAY "wHEre goT?"...
yOu aRe aFFectEd bUt u duNno wHy...iT feEls lYk a brEakuP...aRe u faLLing iN loVE?...pRollY noT?...juZ taT e pErsoN maTTErs...
anYonE wouLD bE uPset tO bE iGnoreD...eVEn bY aCquiTAnces oR taT wiErd sALespeRsoN wHo reFuse tO sErve u...nOt tO mEntioN friEnds...bUt uNDerstaND taT e diFferent wAYs u haNDle tiS upSet feeLing iS cRuciaL...aND iT wiLL aFFect oTEhr pPle iN uR liFe...
i woUld cHoOse tO iGnore e fAct tAT i aM bEing ignoreD...maYBE tAT pErsOn jUZ waNt mE oUTta hEr/hiS lIFe sO wHy tRy sO haRd tO sTay?...
i hAF coME tO rEaliSe tAT GrouP fRiendsHips nEver eScaPe tIS mODel...
a pErioD oF sEveraL pAIrs oR tRios...
tHEn sLOwlY coMbiNE iN tO smAll grOUps...
thEn aLL oF a suDden u eNjoY bASkinG iN e sTrengtH oF a coMbiNEd lArge grOup...
tHEre iS tiS sEnse oF bElonGing anD eNthusiAm iS hEated uP...
sLOwlY thEre iS suM faLLing iN loVE, maYBe tWo...a feW bRokeN heARts...
thEn thEre iS diSpleAsurE wiF suMone(s) anD thE groUp sPlitS...
oTHer pPle joIn e gRoUp anD sOme leAVe...
anD e cyCle coNtinueS...
whO iS tO saY whO's aT fAulT?...iT iS juZ a cYcle...aN iNeVitaBle oNE...
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Tuesday, June 28, 2005 || 8:28:00 AM
bE wArneD oF iNcoheRent bLAbberinG aKA bLog diArhOeaoN daYS whEre u wAnn bLog bLog bUt haF ntH tO saY?...toDAy's juZ e oPpositE...haF sO maNY tiNgs tO saY...sTArted e dAY baDly aND wAntEd tO bLog aBt tAt bUt deCidE i sHld bE mORe pLeAsanT...juZ lyK hoW i wAnna chANge mY mSn niCk tO 'iT's sAd eNuff u goT suCh a soRry aRse aS ur faCE' buT dEcide tO chANge iT tO suMthinG moRe pLEasiNg ...aNywaYS,toDaY wAS a haRd daY aT woRk coX cAMe hQ dELiveRy...mY mEagre bReAKfaSt vANisheD iN aLL tAT cArryiNg oF cAt liTTer doG fOod bLAhx3...noT tAt iT's doIng muCh tO toNE mY aRms thoUGh...siAnz...bUt tiME flIEs wHEn u R buSy aND i raTher iT taT wAy...i lOve mY wAY hOMe...loVE e sHEareS bRidgE...iS taT e sHEares?...e oNE tAT leAds tO suNtec aND oUttA iT?...wAtevA iT iS...i loVE iT coX iT oVErloOks mY drEam hOME...pEbbLE baY...anD iF i aM luCky(whIch i wASn't toDAy) i gEt tO seE seA spOrts pLAyers...iT maKEs mE feEl aT e toP pLUs aLL feElinGS a suCceSs coMEs wiF...diD i juZ maKE u cHEck mY mSn nIck?...nO?...2 moRe aNywaYS,1 aT woRk, 1 aBroaD, 1 oN coUrse, 1 pICkinG uP grAD goWn...aNd i aM lEft wiF noThinG buT blOgginG, slPing, tV-inG and sElf pRoceSsed fATteniNg aT hoME...wAt liTTle frEns i haF...wAnteD tO dO suMthinG brAVe lYk wAtch mR anD mRS sMith aLone aT pS bEfore i rR pS goT coUPle sEats anD i wiLL loOk sO aLOne...wAnna coMe hoME piCk uP mY bLAdeS anD heAd doWn tO eCp sINce i foUNd aN aLternatiVE waY tO reAch taT roUte i oNLi wenT oncE...buT wE aLL noE i aM a sLoth...mANy stuFf i cOUld dO buT weLL...I AM A SLOTH...sO iS baCk tO hoLIdayinG iN e tV anD nEt...i kNOW iT's a lUxuRy tO sOME bUt iT's pLAIn bORing foR mE...thOugh iT's e fIrst dAY iN a wEek i cAN dO tiS...iT's nO woNDer wHy i cAN't wAit foR sChooL tO staRT...i eVEn miSs hoMEwoRk...skIp thE exAMz pArt anD i wiLL bE tRuly bLisS...1 moRe aNYwaYS,i aM sOoOOoOoOo eXciteD aBt e aRrivaL oF mY biRkieS...lalAla...i aM bOReD...
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Saturday, June 25, 2005 || 4:29:00 PM
*nOstALgic*goIng tO bEdoK iNTErchaNGe aLOne liSteniNg tO clAss 95 bRing baCk thOSe daYS...tHose yoUng aND sEemiNGly feArleSs daYs...whEre u reAch e iNterchaNGe aT 7.05...aNy eArlieR u aRe a geEk...aNy laTEr u haFTA stanD bY uR sEwinG kiT...(coX shORts sKirts gEt uN-taCkeD duRing sPot chEck 4 laTEcomeRS)...wEll iF thE loVE oF uR liFe reAcheS aT aNy oTHEr timE, oF coUrse u aRe eXcusEd...thEn u puT ur paGAr iN uR brA anD pUll uR soCks doWn anD bRAve aLL daNGers foR taT oNE gLimpSe...u reAch u aCt coOl aBit aT e 33 bUS sTAnd...u pRetenD nOt tO sEe taT suMone iNSteaD u laFf anD toK lOudlY sO shE tuRn anD lOok aT u...stUpid riTE?...i nOE...i aM saD taT tHEy aRe pRob goNNa reNo taT saCred pLAce...i eNDeD mY daY wiF titANic oN clAss 95...yeS e oNE wiF e diALogue bTW jAck aND roSe...u hEar iT (evEry diFferent pHraSe) oN evEryonE's gM...anD iT iS suPposEdly e mOSt roMAntiC mOvie baCk thEn...i feLt lYk aN iDiot coX i coUldn't cRy iN iT...tHEnmY grEetiNg msG wAS "Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime...And never let go till we're gone."wAT wAS urs?...iT's e beSt tiME oF mY liFe...i miSs wAShinG e cLASsroOm...i miSs e dANce pErfOrmanCes...i miSs wRitinG leTters...i mIss sittinG oN e flOOr aT reCeSs...i miSs chAnginG iN clASs...i miSs liFtinG mY skIRt uP beFore i siT doWn...i misS bEing pC moNitreSs...i miSs siTting beSide miSs chAirmaN...
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|| 4:27:00 AM
juZ wAtched thE suPErstaR rE teLEcaSt...i lYk jUnyanG's vOIce aND jASoN's lOok...e wAY jaSOn lOok wiTh wEiliaN iN e duEt iS cHArmiNg...bUt cAN hE chAnge hiS naME?...aS usUAl i aM bEing gReedY aGAin...wEiliaN wiLl pRob gEt tO fiNAl tWo bUt nEver wiN...iT's sAd bUt i reALlie feEl hE iS tHEre foR thE auDience wiLL stARt tinKing suPErstaR iS a fArce oTherwisE...e dEfinaTioN oF sUpersTAR iS reAllie mORe thaN jUZ a goOD voICe, u cAN't bE sO sYmpatHatiC tO deNy taT...anD i reALLie aDmirE hiM noT wiSHing tAT hIS diSabiLity wiLL gEt hiM aNy sYmpatHY pOints...hOPEfuLLy hE wiLL stiLL gEt tO cuT aN aLbuM...tOk aBT suPeRsTAr, yEkai uR vCds arE wiF mE noW taT yU gE gE wEnt hoNgkoNg...anD mY bEloveD voDa vOda bOttLE...iT's goNE...bOo hOo...anYWaYs, iT's mOre duRiaNS aGAin...bEst baTch sO faR...fEed mE duRiaN foR bREAkfaSt, lUnch, diNner...aDd iN suPPer anD thRow iN teA breAKs....i cAN stoP eATinG oTHer fOOd...jUZ taT i duN lyK e smEll oF iT iN mY breATh anD finGErs aFter taT...aND iT's wEird hOW thE smeLL coMEs fRm wiThin anD tHE beTTer e quALity e sTrongeR e sMEll...i'LL bE meEting mY pRimaRy sCh bEst fRen nExt frI...a liTTle wORrieD tAt wE wuN haF muCh tO saY...wE haF nV goNE ouT toGetheR eVEr siNCe wE wEnt iNto sEc sCh...iN mY mEmorY...sHE haS owAez tRied tO diFferentiaTe heRselF fRm oTHers...whILe evEry gaL wEArs bLue, sHE coMEs iN fuLL wHite...whILe evEry pRi sCh gaL iS iN loVE wiF tiS bOy oR oTHer...sHE wRote 'tO haF a sTEad' aS hEr diSLike iN mY aUtogrAph...whILE eVEry oTHer gaL iS aTTachEd tO aN aH bEng iN hEr sEc sCh...shE toLD mE sHE lyK tiS gaL...reALlie woNder hOW thE meeTing wiLL bE lYk...wiLL wE stiLL bE aBLe tO toK?...wiLL i gET diSgustEd wiF heR tRyinG tOo haRD tO bE diFfereNt?...i eMphasiZe, tRying tOo haRD iN mY opInioN...thiS haLf aNticipaTion, haLF dREAd...iS kiLLing mE...
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Friday, June 24, 2005 || 3:08:00 PM
dAmagE iNFliCteD oN tHE oNE...$1303 maNgo skIrts1 mAngO dReSs1 maNgo pOlo-teEsElf iNFlicTEd dAMagE...$19.601 giORdaNo rACer1 giORdanO baSIc tEe$76.50paPIlliO giZeHtOTaL dAMage: $226.10nOW taT i liSt mY coNqueRS aLL ouT...iT iSN't taT mUCh...aT leASt tO ME...aND i aM haPPier noW taT i aM leSs gUiltY...nO mORe bUyinG oF cLothES tiL e neXt mOntH's paY...wiF eXceptiOn tO maNgo sALe...bUt aLL dAmagES tO bE iNFlictEd oN seLF...i fiNAlli tOok mY pErlini's bRAcelEt foR repAIr...cAnnoT bELieve hOW loMg i tOok tO dO juZ taT...aLriGhtY, i aM shaGged oUt aFTer tHE nuMErous wArs todaY...anD tRulY toTAllY iN aWe oF a woMan's aRm aND pURchaSing pOWEr...niTEy...
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Thursday, June 23, 2005 || 3:17:00 PM
iT's fuNnie hOW mY diVorcEd paREnts comPEte wiF eAch aNothEr...oVEr tHEir aBiliTY tO maKE uS haPpie...or rAtheR tO proviDe for uS...cAme hoME tO duRiAns..yEs aGaiN anD i aM stiLL toTaLLy iN loVe...bUt wEll, iN taT wAy...a diVorcE iS gOod...i gEt doUble duRianS, dOUblE hOngbaoS, doUble pReseNts, doUBle aLLowanCes aT tiMEs...oH goODneSs i aM sO grEedY...
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|| 2:24:00 AM
i aM iN a diLemmA....
sHld i gEt mY bIRkieS or waT?....
coNS:
1) lAptoP rePAir lOAn nOt clEared
2)haFTa cuT baCk oN mANgO sAle fuND
3)haF sAVinGS fiGurE pLunginG
4)poSsiblE iNAbilIty tO pLAn ...
pRos:
1)i haF oWaez wANted biRkies
2) anD i wiLL bE getTing oNE nO mAtteR wAt, sO whY noT nOW
3)iT iS chEaper
leT's dEcidE aFter i cHEck oUt hOW muCh chEaper iT wiLL bE tO buY nOW...
tMR i aM goiNg foR mAngO sAles...
iT's e fiRSt tiME i aM bEing sO 'aUntie' iN a sALe...iT a rEfresHing eXperience suCh a gaL thiNg...suCh iRonY...
sCArciTy oCcurS wHEn u haF uNliMitEd wANts (eG maNgo, biRkieS, viCtoriA's seCret, riPcurL) matcheD wiF liMitEd rEsourCEs $$$$$$$$$$$$$...
hoW tRue!!!...
i haTE tO sEe doU doU baRkinG aT sUm iNvisIble sPAce tAT hE iS sTAring iNto...
iT's sCAry tO oWn a doG iN tAt wAy...pLus hE gEts sick anD diEs yaDda yaDda...
pLus i aM bORn wiTh haLf a gUt...wiThoUt taT haLF whiCh maKEs sAdakO fuNNy anD nOt sCAry...
oOoOOooo, anD u nOE suMthinG?...i juZ loVE iT wHEn reALity pRoveS mY pOint cOrrecT...aND i sEe u gEttiNg sLAppeD tWice haRDer iN uR fACe wHEn u aRE pRoveN wRong reALisTicaLLy...
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005 || 5:24:00 PM
thERe wAS a fiRe aT pS...tOo bAd iT's oNli sOme sMAll tinY fiRe...nOt vEry sEnsatioNAl...aLL iT diD for mE wAS tO leT mE gEt ouTta e shOp foR 30 miNS...luCky i wAS woRkinG wHEn i gOt evAcuatEd...anD noT iN e miDst oF a hAircuT...haHAha...soRry, iT's meANt tO bE soLEmn hUh?...wHy cAN't iT bE a maJor eXplosioN anD haF tHE whOLE pS coLLApse oR suMthinG?...i nEed suMthinG reALlie eXcitinG iN mY liFe tO haPPen beFore i diE u knOW?...i guEsS i aM juZ tOo boRed wiF mY liFE...thEy sEnt foUr fiRE eNgineS...sO duMb
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005 || 3:11:00 PM
i aM tRuly sAtisfiEd...coX i haD a duRian feAST juZ noW...bUrpPpPPPPppP...nOT eXACtlY a feAST aCtuaLLi...i haD leSs thAN tEn sEeds...foR mY reCord iT's pRobabLy oNLi coNSiderabLE tO bE a stARters?...bUt nVm, i haF mORe iN e frIDge...yaYy!!...toNIte mY daDdy sTuck mE aS aN iNtelliGEnt anD hUmoRous maN...mE "dAddY, i duN aSk 4 foRgiveneSs coX i duN riSk bEing tREated e wAY i wiLL tREat thOSe wHo aSk mE foR foRgiveneSs...jUZ lYk hoW i aM a baD stUDenT sO i wiLL nEver teAch"dAD "buT u jUZ tAUght mE wHere tO gEt gOod duRians"hMmmM...wiTtY yaHz?...sEe whEre i iNheriT mY sHArp toNgue fRom?... wiTty+a liTtle eviL=shaRp toNgueiT's tRuly a hiLAriouS niTE anD i hOpe mY dAD duN reGret rEproDuctiOn...haHAha...oH wE wEnt sEe sEe pRostiTUteS...i aM jUZ vERy aMAzeD bY tHEsE woMEn...lOokiNg aT tHEm i woNder wHy thEY aRE tHERe, dO thEy reALlie meAN thOSe smILes...bLAh blaH blAH...mR suN wAS gOOd...i aM bRown...yaYY!!...i diD 30 laPS toDAy anD 16 wAS thE craWL...gLAd taT mY sTrokeS aRe iMprovIng...thOugh i stiLL loSt tO aiLing iN thE cRAwl i feLt at leAST mOre thAN haLF oF mY laPS wEre cRAWls...(onE mORe iS stiLL mORe)...i sURelY coULDn't haF doNE iT iN e pASt...eSp taT 8 laPS stRaiGht cRAwling...bUt tAt bUmp aT mY kNEe hUrts iN e wATer...aND iT iS sWOllEn coX i kEep bUmpinG iNto iT...hOW mUCh mORe hOPEleSs cAN i gEt reALLie?...hOPEfuLLy i cAN stiLL wEar jeANs tMR...iF noT i duNno hOW tO gO woRk...anD e sORe, boiL, iNfectiOn oR wHAteveR iT iS caLLEd oN mY eYE iS iRrtatinG e heLL oUttA mE...iT iS stARtinG tO huRt...i duNno wAT iS taT anD wAT i cAN dO...hOPefuLLy i gEt riD of iT bEforE sCh sTARts...dAMn!...i aM geTtinG bOreD oF hoLIdaYS...jUZ taT i wAnna viSit eSkibaR bEforE sChooL sTARts...aS iF i duN pUb duRing sChooL daySduN asK mE whY...
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Monday, June 20, 2005 || 11:52:00 AM
iDea fRm yEkai's bLOgwAt iS a fREn?...sHE sEes aLL uR baD tiMEs anD maYBe aLmosT aLL oF uR goOD timEs iF u caN reMEmbeR...anD sHE dOEsn't miND...eRmmM nOt reALlie i hOPe...shE coMEs anD coNsoles u wHEn u haF a bReakuP riGht tO ur doOrstEp anD sPEnd thE daY cRyinG wiF u...whEn u wEre haPpilY aTtacheD anD foRgot abt hEr breAkuP wiF suM aSsholE...shE aCcepts u wAteva u maY bE...thRough tiME...sHE reMEmbeRS tO waVE bYe byE tO u whILe u boArd e bUS hoME...anD sHE sColds u wHEn u fORgot tO msG hEr whEn u reAch hOMe...(uNlyk thOSe sAY foR e sAKe oF saYinG)...sHE iS bLAtaNtlY hONesT iN hEr oPInioNS anD aDvicEs...tRusT...sHE nOEs u nV mEanT heR aNY haRm...mO qI...uNeXplainaBle...mOSt iMPortanTly, shE doEsn't oUtrighTly pUt hEr bOyfriENd aBove u...(iF sEcretLy i duNno anD i duN miND)...thOugh iT iS haRd suMtimes...pPLE u aLL nOE iT's u i aM toKKing aBt...tHAnkz...aLL thEse doEsn't coMe fReE...oN uR pARt...hOW dO u tREAt a fRen?...yOu duN iGnoRe thEm aS anD whEn u feEL lYk iT...yoU dO noE taT uR mOOd sWings aRe uR pErsonaL pRob...yOu duN liVE oFf tHEm whILE kEepiNg uR oWn mOney...yOu aRE coNSiderATe tO thEir feELings...yoU duN deFEnd suMone i haTE iMMerselY...wHEn i wAS tRyinG tO weLL pRotecT u fRm hEr...anD yoU caRE eNUff tO tEll thEM tHEy aRE wRong...eVEn iF thaT woUld sTARt a wAr...aND whEn fREnshiPS aRE dEstroYed...suMtimeS u fiX iT anD iT GEts heLLuvA beTa...bUT aT oTHer tiMEs, iT iS bEta lEavinG iT deStroyeD...
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Sunday, June 19, 2005 || 1:38:00 PM
i tiNk guyS whO caN siNg aRe sO aLLuriNg...e dEpth oF thE maLE siNGing voICe anD iTS mElloWneSs iS vEry sOothinG oN a sLeepY bUS riDE daY...oOpsaND rAP iSn't siNginG jUZ bY tHE wAY...lYk e fEelinG oF bEinG 'zHonG sI' bUt iT suRe caN bE tIrinG...i aM goNNa woRk 4 dAYs a wEek eVEn aFter sCh sTArts anD wEekeNDs wiLL nO loNger bE sUmthiNG tO lOok 4wARd tO...bOo hOo...hOpefuLLy e rEwaRDs aRe gREat...anD mY stuDieS duN gEt aFfecteD...iF tHEy dO i wiLL sTop aT aUgusT...anYwAy, mY pEts aRE hAppiE oNEs foR nOW...tHEy aLL haF tREAts...yaYy!!...bUyinG aLL taT tREAts wAS gOod fuN tOo anD i feEl haLF lYk aN eMpreSs bUyinG sO mUch anD paYinG sIGnificaNtlY liTTle...cHeapO yeS buT i liVE wiThiN mY meANS...caN't stANd tHose whO duN...duNno whY buT feEdinG thEm wiF aLL taT tREats maKE mE veRy haPPie...eSp doU dOu...siNce hE's e mOSt eXpreSsive...aLL doGs aRE, iN tHEir oWn wAY...anD i cAnnoT rePeat tAT tOo maNy tiMEs caN i?...i reALlie duN uNDerstanD hOW sUm pPLE cAN sEnd thEir dOggiEs foR tRAininG sO stRIct e tRAinER uSeS a eLEctriC buZzeR tO coNDitioN e dOg iNto aN oBEdienT uNnatuRal oNE...whY e hEll dO thEse pPle gEt a doG aNywaY?...i hOPE tHEy giF mE tHEir baBIes tO tRAin...woRk wAS reLAtiveLy beTTer aT hOllanD viLLage toDay...nO naSty cuStomEr...(eRmmM eXcepT taT stuPId guCci haNdbaG haG)...coLLeaguEs wEre beTter...diD i mEntioN taT hOllanD v pPle soRta sEe pS ppLE nO uP coX pS stORe iS meSsy anD hOllanD v sAles iS v V v gOod...i aM sniFfinG hEre...coX tHEre iS a maLAy wEddiNg doWnstaIrs anD tHEy wERE cuTtinG oNioNS...yeSh aLL e wAY teN stOReys uP e smEll tRAveLLed...woNder hOW diD tHEy gET e pErmiSsiOn tO wEd tiL sO laTE...haHAHah...mY cRAviNg foR dURiaNS iS gRowinG sO stRonG taT i feEl i cAN eAT a whOLe stALL...anD iT sTARt oNLi laST sAT wHEn mE anD chEnyu paSs bY gEylaNG...anD i cAN't heLp bUT iMAginE waT foLLows iN taT tWo laNEs...fRog leG poRridgE, duRianS, beEf hOR fuN, dURianS, yOu tiaO wANg, duRiaNs duRiaNS duRiaNs...tHosE whO wAnnA gO siT doWn...haHAha...
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Friday, June 17, 2005 || 2:48:00 AM
eVEn aS i aM tYpinG nOW i tiNk iT iS suCh a baD iDea...buT iF i aM noT goNna gEt iT ouT i wiLL suFfocaTe...i aM thOSe wHo wiLL teLl mY frEns iF i sEe eYE wAx oN tHEm oR suMthinG eLSe taT iS u...wAt aBt yOu?....eSp iF tHEy bElong tO e sMAll miStakEn gRosSly miSunderstoOD coMMunitY tAT i aM iN...iT mAttErs nOt wAT u aRE...bUt wAT yoU dO anD hOW yoU cARry uRSelF...i tOt iT wAS a maTTer oF sElf dEfensiVEneSs...diN nOE iT wAS taT rEpulsiVE tO u...kNEw u wEren't mUCh oF a liSteneR bUT nEvertHEleSs wAnna tRy...guEss wE aRE aSKing foR iT...bUT u nEver kNEW iT tOok coUraGE tOo...noW wE nOE, wE wiLL nEver dO iT aGAIn...aT leASt nOt tO u...i aM tOo bIG a kPo tO nOt tEll mY frEns wAT's wRong wiF thEm...maYBE i woULD bE wRong...
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Thursday, June 16, 2005 || 2:57:00 PM
i reALlie hOPe i aM noT oNE oF tHeSe kiNDa pPLE...iT's reAllie sHAmefuL whEn u r toKKing tOo muCh sEnselEss sTuFf...iT's mE...i tAKe aLL thAt iS saID tO mE wiF a liTtle tOo muCh caUtion, a wiNy biT tOo mUCh sUSpicioN, a tinY bIt tOo mUch cRitiCism aND wAY tOo mUCh pRide...pRide iN mY oWn iQ i mAY aDd...tMr iS mY oFf...aND aFTer tMR i aM goNNa woRk 5 dAYs stR8...ruNning tO anD frO hOllaND V,bUGis anD pS...haiZ...i knOW hoLLAnd v gaL iS diSgustiNg anD i duNno hOW bUGis ppLE aRe liKE...anD i aM noT suRe whICh iS mORe drEadfuL noW...anYWaY i aM suRe i caN tAckLE aNithinG iN mY oWn wAy...mR suN, pLS duN pLAy hiDE aNd sEek wiF mE tMr anYmoRe...uPdatEd:sEriousLy i tiNk bLogs cAuseS aLot oF uNhaPPineSs coX taT's wAt i aM feEling...
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Wednesday, June 15, 2005 || 2:02:00 PM
dElEteD aLL mY pOtaToeS piCs coX i reDuceD iT tOo sMALL aND i cAN't uNdo e aCtioN...wAT's nOt pLeasiNg wiLL bE rEmoveD...iF u tiNk i aM noT pLEasinG enUff anD u duN wAnnA toK tO ME...i wiLL reMove mYselF...yOu arE noT e oNLi oNE wiF a tEMper...bLAde foR sO shORt whILE niA...oVEraLL a diSGustinG daY taT i caN't bE boTHEreD tO uPdaTE mY bLog wiF...lEt uS pRAy toGEther taT tMR wiLl bE a betTEr daY...
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Tuesday, June 14, 2005 || 1:48:00 PM
siNgapOreanS aRe hOpeleSsly spOilt...
yOu duN bRing eNuff wATer anD e gOvernmEnt iS suPposeD tO buIld wAter staLLs foR u?...
yoU stUpidlY briNg uR babIEs anD tHEy haFta sEt cOncretE pAvementS foR u?...
u wAnt aN aDventuRe, a hiKE aND u wAnt pPLe tO maKe iT eASier foR u?...
i saY mOve e zOo tO uR hoUSe anD pRay tAt e lIons dOn't mAKe mINcemeaT oUttA u!!!!...
gO wALk oRchard rOAd laHZ siCkly frEaks...
jUSt iN cASe, i aM toKking aBt e coMplaiNts foR e tReetoP wAlk hEre...anD iN fURther cAse, i haF wAlkeD taT anD iF noT foR thE raIn...iT iS seRiousLy nO kiCk...nOt aS yoUng aS mE?... sTAmina nOt aS gOOd?...(reFEr tO aDvicE abOve iN boLD)...
taT's whY wE oSo haF cOuntLEsS ppLE whO caN't stANd oN tHEir oWn twO leGS iN e tRain aND haFta leaN oN e pOle taT's mEant tO bE heLd oNto...aSshoLEs...anYwaY, suN wAsn't gOod tOday...mE anD aiLing eNDed uP eATing saKae bY e beAch...coOL huH?...wE chEck oUt suM pUb oVEr aT taNjoNg bEach tOo...nOt tOo cOol taT oNE...goT a oVEr cRowdeD oVErly sMall sWimmINg pOol...onLi gaLS aND coUples aLLoweD...taT iS coOl thOugh...mR suN dEcideD tO shOW hiMSelF aT 5pM...(yaHz yAhz, sO mUCh for iT)...anD wE quIOcklY spRung oUtta wATer fOR a lAst aTtempT tO gEt a taN...loVe tHE wAy oUR oiLy boDieS shiMMEr iN tHE suNSettiNg beAch...i stiLL haF aN hoUr gLAss hOR!!...sO dO aiLing...hErs iS a 500mL coKE boTtle anD miNe iS a 1.5l onE...yuPPies nOt sO oRiginaL heRE foR thOSe whO reCeive e jOke b4...aNd siLosO bEAch aFter daRk iS sErenE...wiF e riGht coMpanY...riGht mUSic fRm dElifrAnce tOo...bUt tHEir seRvice oR ratHEr pLAce sUx bIg tiMe...nO sMAll cuPs(wE werE foRceD tO buY reGulaR chOc fRapS)...nO cRosSianT...anD nO nEts...tiMe foR haM aND chEesE saNdwiCh anD tV pOtatO coUchinG...i aM a tRue siNgapoRean...hAhahAH...
|| 12:30:00 AM
You are constantly trying to make a favorable impression and endeavoring to be considered as that someone 'special'. You are pretty good at using various tactics and strategies that give the impression that you are in control. Maybe you are - but you are constantly watching to see whether or not your endeavors are truly appreciated. Be careful... just as 'you' may be endeavoring to influence others, 'they' may indeed be influencing you.The way things are you are under considerable stress and you feel that there is little hope of matters righting themselves. Everyone about you seems to aggravate the problem even more. You feel that at this time you need to be alone and you are right - move back and give yourself a chance to breathe.You are trying to break away from the mundane existence that you have been experiencing of late. You have many high hopes and ideals but you are concerned whether circumstances will allow you to realize these ambitions. You want to spread your wings - to broaden your fields of activities - but you are concerned that your dreams are just that - 'dreams' which are not realistic. It concerns you that you are not thinking clearly at this time - what you need is to get away from it all, to give you time to think. A short vacation could well restore your confidence.
You feel that nobody really appreciates you and this is causing you considerable stress. You feel that you have to sublimate your emotions and this is depressing you no end. You feel that the only way you can resolve this untenable situation is to get away from it all and re-establish your own individuality.Co-operation is very important in your life, but this has not been forthcoming from anyone. No-one seems to care and it is because of this situation that you are finding it increasingly more difficult to let yourself go and as a result you are becoming more and more isolated and even, to some extent, introverted. You are displaying a touchy and an over sensitive personality. Trying to take on the whole world doesn't help - you need to relax.Resentment and stress, due to your present circumstances and/or your unfulfilled emotional needs, have produced considerable anxieties. You would like to get away from it all to somewhere that could be the personification of sympathy and understanding. That 'somewhere' could be close by: relax and let go - take a deep breath and look around - the situation may not be as bad as it seems.
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Monday, June 13, 2005 || 2:20:00 PM
iT wAS a feASt aT hoME toDAy...diD mY baKEd pOtatoeS...e mIcrowAve muZ bE thE grEatesT iNventiOn eVEr...tHEy diD mY pOtatOEs iN leSs tHAn 15miNS...a liTTle tOo haRd at fiRst bUt aFter e 2nD roUnd oF wArminG iT's faBuloUs...suMonE reMind mE nV tO buY seAfood tuNA aGain...bY e wAY iT wAS e oNLi oNE taT coMEs reAdy iN a caN, oTher thaN mAyo(iT caME iN a bOttlE)...i diD e chiLLi pRawn anD gaRlic mUShrooM mYseLF...boY dO i lOve e sMell oF gaRlic aNd buTTer sizZlinG iN a paN?...anD i lOVe cOokinG toG wiF jOSh...thOugh quArreLS aRe iNEvitaBle wiF boTh oF uS bEing suCh grEat coOks!!!...haHAha...taNNing aT seNtoSa aGAin tmR!!!...yiPpee...anD iF aiLing haS e tiME i wiLl pRob gEt mY rOXy shORts tmR...*daNces aRounD*aND mY gREat fuTure jAcuzzI baThtuB pLAns aRE oBligeD!!!...wAT mORe caN i aSk foR?...hEre arE e pIcturES!!!
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Sunday, June 12, 2005 || 3:32:00 PM
jUz a quIck oNe...1)i goT mY iSlandLifE baGgie!!!!2)i aM goNna geT mY whiTe rOxy sHorts!!!3)i loVE e noRth eaSt linE...eVEn iF iT's juZ aN iLLusioN, i duN carE!!!chEnyU hoPE u r okI noW...tHAnz foR e coMpanY tOday!!...sEntoSa wAS goOd fuN wiTh u!!!...
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|| 3:23:00 AM
jUZ lyK hOW i uSed tO bE aLl shAre anD nO coMpLains, u haF nO iDea hOW gLAd wAS i taT wAnliNG lOOk iNto mY paCket oF fiShcaKE aND maDe a faCE taT reAds 'i duN tK chILLi'... bOy haF i grown reAL stIngY Or wAt?...i aM toTaLLy cLuelEss mYseLf...i duN haFTa quArreL wiF anYonE...noR dO i haFta bE paRticuLArLy uPset pRior tO tiS...i juZ gRew uP...gREw wiSer...anD wEll mAYbe mOre baD temPEred...u r laTE,u diN aPologiSe anD stiLL haF e chEek tO mOck aT mY dePendEncY oN u bEing pUnctuaL...i wiLl shOW u wAT's iNdepEndencE... i caN u-tUrn hoMe anD reNder uR coMpanY oFficiaLLy uNneceSsary...
wAt's wRong?...i saY wAT's sO uNusuaL...i aM nO loNger taT foUr eyEd kiNd heARteD paTient eVEr rEady oWaez thEre wAitinG sEcondaRy sChooL gaL u kNEw...foR fiVE yEars nOW i aM noT...aND i aM pRoud tO saY taT i haF nEver siNce wAiteD foR aNYone aLone oUtsiDe foR mORe thAN haLf aN hOUr...aND i iNtenD tO staY taT wAY...caLl mE coCky, ruDe, sLut, bITch oR a gaL whO tiNk tOo hIghlY oF heRseLf...i rATheR bE laTE...iT(nO oNe) wAS nEver wORth wAitinG aNd iT nEver sHAll bE...i LEarnT (e haRd waY) anD i puT iT tO gOOd uSe...i loVe e sMEll oF rAIn...smEll oF raIn+oFf dAY tmR=slP tiL laTe latE tmR iN a wArm coSy sMooth bEddIe!!!!...yaY!
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Thursday, June 09, 2005 || 1:00:00 PM
bIg dReaMt oF brEakfASt
bEcAMe
sMAll bORinG brEakfASt
bY aN eviL tWistEd sTrokE oF faTE...
aS i oWaeZ bElievE a bAD sTARt iS a bAd oMEn...
iT haS bEen a reAllie suCkY daY...
i sHAn't gO iNto e dEtaiLS...
suMthinG goOD diD haPpen toDay...i gOt a mEntos tubE fRm a tHAilanD tOuriST foR heLpinG hEr maKE eNquiRy aBt a coNtroL mEdiciNE foR smALl hErbivoRes...
nOt aS mUch aS hEr gRAtituDe, e aCT maDE mE hAppIE fRm thE bOttoMEst oF tHEbLAck hEart...
wEll oF coUrsE stUpiD cuStoMErs wHo cAn't maKe uP thEir mInd, tiNk e aLreaDi smAll coUntER iS a dEposiT coUnteR, dEmanD foR biG pLAstiC baGs (tOo poOr foR a shOppiNG baG?) nEveR faIL tO eXist...woNder wHy...aNywaY, i haF loNg lEarnt nOt tO aLLow tiS bReEd oF pEst tO boTheR mE...sEnt aWay wiF pReteNtious aPoloGieS aND siNceRE cuRsEs, iT's stiLL a haPpy dAY aT wORk...
jUZ bTW, i dUN cursE tHEir pEts(thOugh thEy aRE e maIN cuLpritS), i jUZ pRAy tHEy cHEw oN e faV sLip oNs, sCratcH aT e lUxuRiOUs nEw soFa anD shIt oN thEir soFt whiTE sATin sHeets...
wAT iSsit wiF toDay aND hIDinG oF dEtaILs?...iT toTALLy pISs mE oFf...iF u tiNk i aM taT uTterlY uNreaSonaBLE sAY sO...sAy iT iN mY faCE...
hIDing=lYinG
tMr iS hOllaND v fRm 11-5 thEn trAIning aFterwArds...fEel lYk skIPPinG iT aGaIn tO cAtch suPErstAR lYk toDay...
sEcoNd gOOd thIng iN mY daY maN...eiTher mOSt oF thEm haF vEry 'gOOd' fRens oR fRenS taT aRe eqUAllY toNE deAf...nOW duN teLL ME i duN haF e riGht tO cRiticiSe coX i haF nOt eVEn e gUts tO bE tHEre...u gO thEre, u dEserVE e cRiticiSm...
e jAY chOu wAnnAbes, jOlin wAnnabEs reAllie mAKe mE laFf...
diNNer haD noT anD spRing chICken maKEs tURn e taBles aRounD...
*gRinZ*
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Wednesday, June 08, 2005 || 3:02:00 PM
wAt doEs e word iNterchANge meAn tO u?...
tO Me tOdaY iT iS liNkeD wiF thE woRds lYk
1)uNexPecteD meEtinGs wif lOng lOst foEs
2)cRowd=auNtieS
3)heAt
4)fRusTratiOn=kiAsu kPo aUntieS
aNd thoUgh i uSuaLLy gO tO e iNterchAnge coX tHEre iS a hIgher pOSsibiLity oF sEats aVailAble...i tOok rEfuge iN e sMAll coSy(duN aSk Me whY) sAfe bUS-stoP iNsteAd...
wAt kiND oF pHobia isSit nOe aS? pHobiA oF iNterchanGes?...i woNder...
iT is oWaEz sAd tO hEar abT bReaKUps or e iNtentiOn tO raTher...eSpeciAlly whEn u nOE e reAsoN iSnt aLl tAt vaLid...anD u nOe bOth paRtieS...siGh...bUt e cHoice iSn't miNe i guEsS...
iN MY oWn hOneSt oPinioN...a breaKup oNli oCcurs whEn
1)tHere's a tHird pArty
2)e thIrd pArty iS uNknOWn
3)e tHirD paRty iS kNOwn
4)e tHiRd pArTy iS uNaTtachEd
5)e thIrd paRty iS aTtached
yeSh, baSicaLLy i feEl iT onLI haPpenS whEn thEre iS a 3rD paRty...aLL e oTheR reAsons woUld haF bEen beArabLE iF thEre aREn't aNyonE tO coMpare wiF...iF thEre aREn't aNyonE mOre rOmantic, geNtler, mOre sEnsitive, uNderstaNDs mOre oR spEnd mOre tiME wiF u...
i nOE u beG tO diFfer...buT duN tRy tO coNvincE mE....
boUght a coOkbOok aBt pOtatoEs tOdaY...goT mY liTtleSt siSteR eXcitEd...
tiNk i aM goNna tRy suM baKEd pOtatoEs wif fiLLinGs foR aN eASy stARt anD guRantEed sUccEss oN suNdaY...
whO aSk ME tO bE surrouNDeD bY pOtatoE fReaKS...hA...
bOught gRapefRuit meNtos aFter tAt...maKes mE tinK oF aLEks e reP frm dIAblO i wAS woRking wiF oVer e wEekeNd...iT reAllie iSnt taT haRd tO maKe mE rEmembeR suMone...i guEsS iT iS mOre of a chOre tO maKe mE foRgeT...i tiNk of thIs whO anD whO taT whO and whO wHEn i sEe paRticuLAr pLAces, tiTbitS, dRinks, dogGies, uNiforMs, bLAh blAH bLah...suM maTTer mOre and otheRs leSs...gOod tHing anD baD, tiS iS a biLlboArd syStem i aM haFing uP thEre iN mY bRain...
i aM not gOod aT coNsolIng...sOrry...
woRkeD aLone wiF wANliNg foR e 1sT tiME toDay...wEnt eASier aND mOre reLAxeD thAN i iMagiNed...anD sAles wAS lyK 1440?...jUZ 2 wEeks baCk iT wAS lyK wAt 700++ 800++ aT mOst?...gReat iMproVEment thEre bUt huIyiN dO hoLd suM rEgulaRs' heARts stiLL...
anYwaY, i tinK iT wAS a mOst lIbeRatinG workinG eXpErienCe wANliNg evEr goT fRm viNcenT anD mE...i shAN't eLaboRAte wAT wAS tHe coNversATioN aBout?...*chUcklEs*...wANliNg iS iNnoceNt(i aM waiting tO bE wRong aBt tiS), anD shE bElievEs mOSt i teLL hEr...
jUZ lyK hOW shE reAdily bElieVE vIncenT iS gaY buT i aM stiLL iN doUbt...iT iS niCe tO meEt tiS kiNda siMple pPle...u nOE wAt tHEy teLL u iS tRue aLmoSt owAeZ...
goNna sLp...
aND i aM goNNa drEAm aBt mY biG bFast tmR!!!...hUrraY...
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005 || 1:06:00 PM
toDay's lYk mY oFf daY iN oNE wHole wEek oF woRk...mAdagaScaR iSn't taT fuNNy aNd nOt reAllie eVen woRth a mOndaY ticket...pRob coX iT's tOo shOrt...pRob coX goT tOO maNy sIlly kiDs...pRob coX e aIr coN iSn't taT coOl wiF sO maNy pEople...i haTE gaLS whO pUt dOWn oTher gaLS tO maKE thEmselVes lOOk gOod...sUre u jOke anD bE sAcarsTic...bUt u duN aCt aS if u r taT iNnocenT aNd eLegant...aNd iN fRont of aN aMericaN...iT jUZ pUts mE oFf sEeing u tryinG tO iMpreSs e 'suPErioR'...rEspecT ur oWn nAtionaLity aND coLOur...nO woNder whY tHEy lOOk doWn oN uS...suM frEnshiPs tAt wEre lOst aRE a pIty, oTherS aREn't... aNd iF thEy aREn't tHEre iSn't a pOint tO tRy tO forgive, nOt tO meNtion foRget...iF tHEy aRE wOrth a sEcond tRy, i wuN heSitaTE...i aM noT taT sTubboRn...mAYbe i sHldn't bE sAying tiS...buT i aM diSaPpointEd...hoPE i caN stiLl geT a mErit cErt...iT's oNLi 5 pOints tiS tiME coMpaRed tO a 7 laSt seM...aND stiLL not a siNgle hiGh dI iN siGht...nOt mUch hOPe for iT iN e 3rD sEm oNwaRds...shIt...i duN mEan tO boAst oR anIthing...
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Sunday, June 05, 2005 || 3:48:00 PM
i onLi nEed oNe daY woRkinG aT e eDu faIr aND i feEl lyK gOing aBroaD tO sTudY...iMpuLsivE maYBE...caLL ME gReeDy, uNgraTEfuL...buT i aM sO eNvioUS taT paREnts i mEt tOdaY aRE lYk paMperIng tHEir kIDs sO mUChie...i sHld bE tHAnkfuL taT i duN paY mY oWn sCh fEes bUt... reAlliE i aM noT...iS ingrAtituDe a siN?...iF sO i aM goIng tO hEll...nOE iT iS toUgh oUt tHEre, bEing aLone aND aLL...bUt i aM noT sATisfiEd bEing a mOuntaIn toRtise iN tiNy liTtle siNgapOre...wEarinG a bLAzeR anD bOOts mAkes mE fEel iMpt...anD i aM sO gEttiNg aDdicteD tO iT...i tiNk i aM tOo cuNninG mYseLF...i tEnd tO suSpecT aLL pPLe, tHEir actiONs, woRds, bEhaviOur anD i tRulY disLike pPLe whO sAY tHIngs jUZ coX iT iS e coRreCt tHing tO saY...sO u cAn coN pPLe iNto bElievIng yoUr imPortaNce tO tHEm whEn iT iSn't e cAse...sAw suMone whOm i wiSh i coUld tReat aS a sTranGEr, buT i coUldn'T hElp buT giF a faCE...reSults aRe gOnNA bE oUt tMR..sO maNy feARs...i wAnT a zAra bLAzEr!!!!
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Wednesday, June 01, 2005 || 3:59:00 PM
hOW faSt dO i gEt pRoteCtiVe oVEr suMthiNg?soMeonE?suM pLace?...*sNAps fiNgers*...juZ lyK taT maNz...wAS caLLed tO hOllaNd V tO woRk tOdaY iNstEAd oF uSual pS...tHEy reAllie dO lOok doWn oN pS...anD i reAllie diD feLt a liTtle(maYBe mOre thaN a liTTle) anGry?...wATeva taT woRd iS...bUt sEriousLy, i gO worK, i gEt paId, i haPpie...sHLdn't gEt mYSelF tOo iNvoLved...hOwevE biG & neAt tHEy maY be, i Prefer smALl aND coZy aND friEndlY pPle tHAnk yOu...laLalalalAlaLalAla...duN aSk ME whY i aM sO haPPie...i aM aFraid it wiLl vaNisH if i teLl aNyoNE...haHAhha...oKi, sO biG faT mE caNt sQueeZe iNtO cHEnyU's bLAzer sO thEn i aM goNna geT shIrts for taT faIr tIS wEekend...gOing tO chEck zAra anD maNgo oUt oN thUrs...iF noT i wiLl bE naKEd at tHe faIR...hahAHhahHAh...i forsEe a bIg hOle iN mY pOckeT...i oSo forsEe lOtsa woRking dAys sO i gUess it baLanceS hUh?...doIng oPeninG foR thE seCond tiME tmR mORninG...woNder iF kaY wiLl dRop bY...dEpends hOW mUch shE trUst mE bY nOW i gUesS...mUmmY's mEnopauSe sEems tO BE teMpoRariLy oN hOLd...anD if mY auNts cAN kEep tHEir tRAps shUt i tiNk i wiLL sTiLL haF a roOf oVer mY heAd foR tHE tiME beIng...iT's reaLLie a haLf reLieF anD haLf diSaPpointmEnt...buT guEss i shLd be coNtenteD anD grAtefUl tAT i wUN haFta bE cRackinG mY heAD oVEr sCh feEs aS yEt...gOnnA sAve uP tO haF suFficiEnt chiPS tO quArreL wiF mY mUm iN fUture...iN caSe i reAllie gEt chASed oUt...whiCh i tiNk i aM sO lOokinG foR iT...aND haLf wAiting foR iT...2 mOre yeARs... eNduRe!!!!!...nO aCcidEnts aLLoweD!!!
